we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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