I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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