If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
