Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
