Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
