She's JV to your varsity
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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