i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
