Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
