were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
