did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
