this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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