Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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