He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize