i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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