CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
