we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
