Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
