what if every blade of grass was a penis?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
