are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
