yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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