Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
