By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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