Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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