my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize