I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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