My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
