So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
