using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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