We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
