ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
