What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
