Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
