What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
