yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize