If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
