I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
And then he peed in my hair
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