make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
