Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
