yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Four minutes until I can fart!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
