Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
