Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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