We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize