***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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