He uses pillows to masturbate.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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