who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Randomize
