I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
