I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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