P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i drank out of a bidet.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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