She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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