I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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