Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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