he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
