Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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