I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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