if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
