..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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