omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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