I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
