You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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